In modern society, much like what we are experiencing in Singapore, equality between males and females is advocated to illustrate the development of society, where females, previously subjugated under a dominant male environment, are now given an equal chance to shine and utilise their talents and demonstrate their abilities.
This sense of equality drives the system of meritocracy in Singapore, where people's abilities instead of gender determines employment and capabilities.
Yet, there is a part of me that hopes for gentlemanly traits to be displayed in an environment where females are expected to fend for themselves. Simple acts of gentlemanly kindness such as opening a door and letting the females go first would leave a very good impression and put a smile on the one whom you opened the door for. Somehow, growing up in a modern society has taught me to appreciate such acts of kindness, because they are sorely lacking and I've learnt not to expect as not having an expectation makes something much more pleasant and delightful, simply because you don't expect it. Yet, it is rather saddening that gentlemanly manners are now considered a rarity in modern society.
Now, the impulse that got me started on such a topic was triggered by a dinner. There were in total 4 persons for this dinner, 2 males and 2 females. When it came to time to foot the bill, one female took out her card to pay. Ideally and politely speaking, one person foots the bill and the rest will pay that person back after splitting the bill equally among the group (because all ate the same food items). However, one male kept quiet while the other male asked the female who was paying politely and quietly, "So, this meal is on you, right?"
It was somewhat the first time the females were meeting these two males and civil manners connoted 'going dutch'. Thus, it was to my utter shock and chagrin to hear such a suggestion from a male whom you meet for the first time. I don't expect a guy to pay for my meal but the very least of courtesy would be splitting the bill equally. Even if you want to be exact in the splitting, to the point of counting every cent and making sure that everyone pay only their share and that those who ordered extra would pay extra, this (to me) would still be considered fair and acceptable.
To be fair, everyone has their financial woes and it is understandable to live on a tight budget. It is ok to say that you are financially tight and probably pay another time. What shocked me the most was not that a male did not pay for the meal, but that even a reasonable offer to split the bill was not extended.
To my male friends who are reading this, maybe you guys can shed some light on this issue.
